Mud

BTW, the slide/mud thing was unintentional, yet apropos.

Violence is not the answer, yet we get beaten down in the streets and we aren’t supposed to fight back. What the fuck? What minority in this nation gained any increase in liberty without violence on both sides? Should I just depend on the good graces of the Republican war machine and its christian soldiers for my safety and freedom? And really, what exactly should I tolerate? Should I let it go when I get verbally attacked, just so I can let everyone know that it’s OK to shout slurs at the minorities at odds with your religious views but not others? How much trouble would I be in if I called someone a fucking nigger in a public place? Or should I let anyone who feels like it say the most vile thing that they can think of and then pretend that it was a joke? How do you teach your children to hate only certain people?

I slapped the fuck out of my roommate to let him and all of his friends know that some things don’t go.

And for your reference, we don’t, as a matter of course, call each other faggot. Unless we want to fight.

And I do. All I need is a reason.

Slide

A (straight) friend of mine said that the Annie Lennox Bare CD was too gay for him. My first thought was, "Too gay for you? Since when has anything but dressing up exactly like Madonna been too gay for you?" I didn’t even show any indignation at all or call out his show tune singing self over it. I let that one slide.

On an entirely different level:
Some jackass called my boyfriend a fucking faggot. Let me tell ya, guys - there’s a way to call a man a fucking faggot, and a way to call a man a fucking faggot and get your eyes clawed out. He grabbed me by the arm when I made a move toward Jackass, and I knew that he couldn’t really afford any more trouble, so I let that one slide. For now. Wait until I see you out somewhere alone, Jackass. Or hell, bring your friends and we’ll all have us a row.

Incidentally, between the time I started this blog and the time that I posted it, my roommate called me a fucking faggot, showing off in front of his friends. I didn’t punch him in face like I wanted to. I slapped him instead, hard enough to leave a hand print. I walked away, hoping that he would escalate hostilities and get his friends in the fray. While most of you don’t know this about me, I am perfectly capable of kicking multiple ass. Well, he didn’t. I almost let that one slide. It’s stirred up a lot of mud for me and I’ll write about that more.

I was in the Dollar Store the other day, and this asshole was giving the teen-aged clerk a hard time. I stared a hole in the back of his head until he turned around and gave me a little nod. I gave him my "Please Die" look and turned away. I wanted to ask him if his dick was so small that it made him feel better to disrespect a child. But I didn’t because I knew that given my frame of mind, any confrontation would have ended badly for him. So I let that one slide.

I’ve let a lot of shit slide. It’s a lot easier to shut up than to take a stand. Would you defend someone if you knew that you had a good chance of getting hurt or arrested? How far is too far before words fail? Not very damn far, in my experience.

My Bad

You know those puffy shower things that you use with liquid soap? It’s nothing but some nylon plastic bunged up in the middle with a cheap-ass cord. Women and fags love to use those things. I’m sorry, did I say that women and fags use those things? I meant only women - and men who love show tunes, track lighting, figure skating, shopping, T-shirts with witty sayings, the Miss America Pageant, and The Learning Channel. My bad.

Did ya see the game where the Braves got their candy asses kicked by New York? Somebody please tell Devine to get the dick out of his mouth and pay attention to the ball. There’s a reason why the catcher is squatting down with a glove turned forward, jackass. I’m sorry, did I say to get the dick out of your mouth and pay attention to the ball? I meant to say to get the dick out of your mouth and pay attention to the damn ball, please! My bad.

Why do everything thing on Friday afternoon? Why? You don’t even know. And then why bitch about having to do everything on Friday afternoon? Who told you? Hell, on Friday afternoon, I’m tired from a week full of junk. I want to come home and rest. But I’m probably at work, trying to service the 500 people that came into my place between 4:00 and 7:00 and then got mad because they had to wait a lot longer for than they would have if they would just do some shit on SOME OTHER DAY!! You should try it. Staying the fuck home, I mean. Just go the fuck home after work, like you do any other day. Pace yourself. Don’t keep trying to do everything at the same time! Try doing something on a Tuesday, for the love of all things bright and beautiful. You won’t die. Yeah, I already know your excuses: I’ve got kids; I don’t have to get up early on Saturday, I just got paid - blah, blah, blah. Whatever. Shut up! Stay home! You suck! My bad!

It’s really time for the rest of us to enjoy a day without Christians. That day should be every Sunday. I’m for real. Keep the sabbath day holy and all of that blather. Obey your own rules keep your ass at home for 12 hours a week. I mean, if you have to, you can go places. Just not public places. Hospitals and stuff like that, sure. Stay out of the shops and restaurants, the bowling alley, theater, movies, and so forth. Give the rest of us a chance to have a little bit of life without you in our collective face. I’m sorry does this concept seem hypocritical? I didn’t realize that your own rules don’t apply to you. My totally bad.

Bat To Basics

I’m really thinking that it’s time to simplify. Imagine that instead of swords or guns, we all had baseball bats. Yeah. There you go. Bats all around, kids, grab your share, too.
During back to school time, there would be Batbags to sling over the shoulder and Batbelts for the fashion conscious. Accessorize. RD would have the purple floralHello Kitty Batbelt with matching flip-flops and mini handbag. MD would have anything, as long as it worked and wasn’t too obviously what everyone else had. Little MD would cry because he’s too little to have one at all.

JD wouldn’t even want to have one since it makes no sense that the whole damn world goes around with baseball bats, but the social pressure is too much, so whatever. JLD would have the plain leather Batbag and complain that it was ugly, not the right size, and didn’t match anything; and she’s had it forever anyway, so she might as well keep it until it’s absolutely necessary that it be replaced. RAD would have the black leather bag-to-belt combo with extra pockets for the I-Pod, cell phone, digital camera, and laptop; with optional GPS unit and laser sighting for those difficult swings.

Obviously, I have too much time on my hands right now...