My Bad

You know those puffy shower things that you use with liquid soap? It’s nothing but some nylon plastic bunged up in the middle with a cheap-ass cord. Women and fags love to use those things. I’m sorry, did I say that women and fags use those things? I meant only women - and men who love show tunes, track lighting, figure skating, shopping, T-shirts with witty sayings, the Miss America Pageant, and The Learning Channel. My bad.

Did ya see the game where the Braves got their candy asses kicked by New York? Somebody please tell Devine to get the dick out of his mouth and pay attention to the ball. There’s a reason why the catcher is squatting down with a glove turned forward, jackass. I’m sorry, did I say to get the dick out of your mouth and pay attention to the ball? I meant to say to get the dick out of your mouth and pay attention to the damn ball, please! My bad.

Why do everything thing on Friday afternoon? Why? You don’t even know. And then why bitch about having to do everything on Friday afternoon? Who told you? Hell, on Friday afternoon, I’m tired from a week full of junk. I want to come home and rest. But I’m probably at work, trying to service the 500 people that came into my place between 4:00 and 7:00 and then got mad because they had to wait a lot longer for than they would have if they would just do some shit on SOME OTHER DAY!! You should try it. Staying the fuck home, I mean. Just go the fuck home after work, like you do any other day. Pace yourself. Don’t keep trying to do everything at the same time! Try doing something on a Tuesday, for the love of all things bright and beautiful. You won’t die. Yeah, I already know your excuses: I’ve got kids; I don’t have to get up early on Saturday, I just got paid - blah, blah, blah. Whatever. Shut up! Stay home! You suck! My bad!

It’s really time for the rest of us to enjoy a day without Christians. That day should be every Sunday. I’m for real. Keep the sabbath day holy and all of that blather. Obey your own rules keep your ass at home for 12 hours a week. I mean, if you have to, you can go places. Just not public places. Hospitals and stuff like that, sure. Stay out of the shops and restaurants, the bowling alley, theater, movies, and so forth. Give the rest of us a chance to have a little bit of life without you in our collective face. I’m sorry does this concept seem hypocritical? I didn’t realize that your own rules don’t apply to you. My totally bad.