S'tupid People

It seems that more and more, I’m seeing a misunderstanding of the written word. In particular of late, the use of the apostrophe. The apostrophe is that little hook, ‘. You see, it looks like a little upside down comma. In the English language, the apostrophe has two functions. It indicates contractions, such as "do not" to "don’t" or "we are" to "we’re." The indication is, of course, that some letters have been left out. The other function is to denote possession, but again, a contraction of some kind is implied. You may say "Jayvin’s Blog" instead of "the Blog of Jayvin." See how handy that is? You can say less and mean more.

More terrifying is the misuse of "you’re" and "your." The misuse of these words indicates a misunderstanding of fundamental language concepts which you should have learned in the first grade. Are you sure you should be writing anything that anyone else will read? Maybe you just shouldn’t speak, either. Anyway, in most American regions, there is a slight difference in the vowel pronunciation of those two words. The contracted "you’re" is pronounced a little tighter. The vowel in "your" is a more open vowel. To my linguist ear, these words are as different as day and die. And if they’re not to you, that’s OK, there’s no shame. Just do it right and there'll be no further complaints.

That said, I completely understand if you are too stupid to be able to tell the difference between a contraction and a possessive. You probably didn’t do so well in English class and that’s OK also, it’s nothing to be ashamed about. Just remember the examples above, and you’ll be fine. But when you write "you’re" when you mean something belongs to me, and "blog’s" when you mean more than one blog, and not, for example, the blog’s (or blogs’) template, it really makes you look like a dumbas’s.

Don’t even get me started on "there" and they’re."