Don't Ask Don't Tell

Don't ask don't tell (About the aliens)

I didn't intend to write about ET today, but here it is. There's such a stigma on the whole alien thing, that no "reasonable" person would ever seriously discuss it. It's for hacks, freaks, and flakes. But what if it's not? I realize that the subject of alien encounters is very off-putting for a lot of folks, but hey, it's my blog and you don't have to read it! Besides, it's still conspiracy week, so just play along. Mmkay?

Let me start by saying that I have never seen/been abducted by/received an anal probe from an alien, that I can recall. But I know someone who has. She's totally convinced that she saw one and that it communicated with her briefly through telepathic imagery. I don't know about the probe - she didn't mention that. But I heard the story twice. The second time, I specifically asked her to tell me again, just so I'm clear. She felt that she was part of a group being selected for something, and she had a health issue that caused her to be spared abduction. She says that she didn't think that they were going to hurt her either way. She told the story as if she were talking about what happened at afternoon tea, and made no preludes or apologies for it. Now, this is some one that I am very close to and have known for many years. I only heard this story a couple of years ago. If it came form anyone else... But I suppose you can make anything into anything, given enough imagination. According to Melinda Leslie, there are 58 common factors abductees/encounters share. Forty-two of them seem hacked, freaky, and flakly, but I don't see you checking into this alien crap, so the gracious Ms. Leslie has done it for you. Yeah, I noticed the "52". I guess she added some. I hope to God that this was done with at least a touch of satire.

I've read eleven books on the subject of aliens on Earth - from Roswell to abduction accounts, and I still can't decide if I believe it. The most convincing accounts are culled from the Roswell Incident and medical examinations that reveal certain types of scars. In a number of cases, tiny metallic objects have been removed from the extremities or head of the abductee.

A few who know me will already know this: I have two symmetrical scars on the back of my head. I've had them since I was at least 14. No one in my family recalls me having any type of injury or surgery on my head. About three years ago, I went to the ER with swelling in my mastoids. I was examined by two doctors, who questioned me about the scars. I couldn't tell them anything, and neither could my mom. I wouldn't let them examine me further.

If I had to tell my family, it would go something like this: I've been abducted by aliens and they sliced open my head. They implanted me with something a la X-Files and I'm going to die from cancer.

NAWW! Really, I'm just gay.